We Be Jammin'

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No, not that kind. This kind:


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Originally I wasn't sure if I wanted to give out favours. As a bride on a budget I have to be pretty careful about how we spend money. I've been to a few weddings where they didn't give out favours and I didn't think it took away from the wedding at all. Similarly, I've been to weddings where I've received favours that I have no use for and aren't particularly creative or related to the couple in any way and it just seemed like a waste. I knew if I did decide to give out favours they would have to be something special (in my opinion anyway!).

However, after scouring the Internet for a while I realized pretty quickly that I really wanted to give our guests homemade jam for three reasons.

1) I think jars of jam are adorable.

2) My dad does all kinds of canning all the time and I thought jam would be a great homemade and very personal product to give our guests.

3) If we did the canning in the summer we would be able to use all local produce which really appealed to me.

Anyway, this past weekend the first jammin' (haha) session took place and like the dedicated and involved bride I am, I didn't help at all. Nope, I let my dad and 87 year old grandfather do all the work.

Here's how the first jammin' session went:

These are the most of supplies all lined up. My dad actually picked all the rhubarb himself at a relative's farm:



The yummy looking strawberries my grandfather picked in Woodstock, ON:



The aforementioned grandfather:



My dad mid jammin':



Jam!





and 5 hours later half the jam was done:



As you may have guessed this batch was strawberry rhubarb jam. Since then my dad has also made another 40 jars of rhubarb ginger jam, which is kind of the yummiest thing ever. And yes, my dad is totally awesome for doing this for me.

The thing I have to figure out now is how I want to decorate/label these jars. I've been searching the Internet, but I haven't figured it out yet.

What's your favourite way to decorate a jam jar?

Too Trendy?

One of my favourite vendor crushes, Beth Helmstetter, wrote a blog post a few months back that really resonated with me. It's called "It is NOT Out of Fashion If You Love It" and you can read the original post here.

As you can probably guess from the title of the post, Beth argues that when it comes to your wedding, you shouldn't worry about whether something you love is in fashion or not. She points out that for those of us obsessed with wedding blogs (which I suspect includes many Weddingbee readers) very creative and interesting ideas can seem really overdone and overused really quickly. However, Beth argues that this is not reason enough to exclude something if you really love it. Most wedding guests don't spend a couple of hours a day reading wedding blogs and most likely will not even be aware that more than one person has thought to use a typewriter as a guest book (for example).

This really resonated with me and I think it's so true. I'd definitely been a bit concerned about a few of my choices being a bit too trendy or overdone, but this calmed me right down. Of course these things are completely awesome and in fashion if Mr. Knitting and I love them. They certainly belong in our wedding anyway!

Here's a few of the "popular" things I plan to include:

Adorable jars of jam as favours (more about this soon):


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Cupcakes (although mine are DIY):


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The Paloma's Nest ringbearer dish:


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I don't know for sure that I'll be having one of these dishes, but before reading this post I had decided I wouldn't because I thought they were too popular. After reading the post, I don't care if they're popular or not. Whether I end up with one now will depend more on finances than anything else. They aren't expensive, but when you're a budget bride every little bit counts!

So those are the popular items I'll be embracing. I think ultimately as long as I'm true to myself and my style who cares if all my ideas aren't the most original things ever. All I want in the end is a wedding that really reflects Mr. Knitting and myself and I'm pretty sure the best way to do that is to include things that we love irregardless of how popular they are.

What's your favourite popular wedding trend?

Family Tie(s)

Family is really important to me and as I've mentioned, Mr. Knitting and I are trying to incorporate our families into the wedding whenever possible. One of my favourite ways we're doing this has to do with the tie Mr. Knitting will wear at the wedding.

Originally I had planned to find him a vintage tie here in Toronto, either at Cabaret on Queen St. W, Stella Luna, or one of the vintage stores on Ossington St. While the rest of his outfit will be pretty new, I liked the idea of a vintage tie to tie into our vintage theme (yes, I crack myself up!).

Then I realized that I had an even better option at my disposal. Before he passed away, my Scottish grandfather used to wear his mother’s family tartan tie to formal events. This tie is both vintage and directly related to family! I love the idea of Mr. Knitting getting married wearing something my grandfather was so proud of.

Here's a picture of my grandparents. I searched everywhere for a picture of him wearing the tie, but no luck. You'll have to settle for this awesome bright yellow one:

It's actually been a while since I last saw the tie, so I can't even definitively tell you what it looks like. It's the Anderson family tartan which the Internet tells me could look like any of these:


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To be honest though, I don't really care what it looks like. I could care less if it doesn't really coordinate with the other colours I'm leaning towards (pale pink, burgundy, silver, white, and gold). To me it's much more important that it's an object that meant a lot to my grandfather, who obviously meant a lot to myself and my family. Mr. Knitting and I are so excited for him to wear the tie.

In what ways have you incorporated family history into your wedding?

I Vow...To be Awkward

While in private Mr. Knitting and I are often embarrassingly lovely dovey with each other, in public not so much. We're pretty private about our relationship and our feelings for each other. I'm also pretty WASPy in that I'm not too interested in talking about deep emotional stuff with lots of people in public. Stiff upper lip and all that.

A nod to my WASP-iness in our bedroom:


As a result, the thought of standing up in front of 100 people and saying wedding vows is absolutely terrifying to me. Okay, terrifying is probably overkill, but it seems really awkward to me. I love Mr. Knitting more than anything and want to spend my life with him, but I don't want to say that aloud to a whole bunch of people.

I can see how, in theory and for other people, it's a really nice thing to do. My sister and her husband's vows were wonderful and definitely a highlight of the night. It's lovely to commit yourself to someone in front of all your favourite people and I'm really hoping that in the moment I'll just feel so loved and supported that I won't feel awkward.

We had a Toronto Weddingbee meet up in early June and one of the lovely ladies told us how she and her fiance (now husband) had decided to not do public vows and instead had chosen to exchange private letters. At first I thought this was a great solution for us, but then I realized that neither of us would take those letters seriously and they'd just be a big joke to us. Thus, we'll be sticking with the public vows and I will just have to swallow my feelings of awkwardness.

Do you have any feelings of awkwardness over wedding vows?

Keeping It In Perspective

I have decided that I actively need to calm down about wedding planning and learn to laugh. I care a lot about this wedding and as a result I think I'm in danger of taking everything too seriously. I really really want to be able to laugh at all the ridiculous things that are likely to happen. Seriously, Mrs. Perfume's ugly cake that tasted bad is one of the funniest things I've ever read, and clearly her wedding was still incredibly gorgeous and memorable even if she didn't like the cake.

The problem is that because I don't have a "go with the flow" type of personality, being able to take a step back from something I really care about is really hard for me. I also tend to take things pretty personally, which really doesn't help when you're planning a wedding. I know everyone says that the important thing is that in the end you'll be married and that's all that matters, but I don't find that advice very helpful. I'm more like, "Yes, I'll be married but everyone will think our wedding is awful because of (some ultimately unimportant thing that no one will notice but me).

That being said, I am now officially going to be making a huge effort to just calm down and laugh at all the ridiculous things that are going to happen. I suspect those are the things that make the best stories.

Anyone have any tips for keeping it all in perspective? Married ladies - did anyone have a wedding disaster that after the fact was hilarious?

Honeymoon Blues

Mr. K and I realized today that we can't afford a honeymoon and that sucks a lot. I'm not really sure how we didn't realize this before since our finances didn't magically change today, but I guess we didn't really think it through. The original plan was to go to Hawaii for two weeks after the wedding. Unfortunately, between my big Europe trip this past May, Mr. Knitting's grad school fees and conferences (neuroscience on a cruise ship anyone?), our upcoming short trip to visit my older sister and her husband in Vancouver, and, oh yeah, the wedding, a honeymoon is just not going to happen. Stupid being young and poor...

Mr. Knitting working hard at his neuroscience conference on a Caribbean boat cruise:



BM Melbourne and I in Antibes:



My excuse for visiting Vancouver:



However, after getting over my initial disappointment, I'm surprisingly okay with this. Clearly we've both had lots of fun and adventures this year and we'll have lots of exciting trips to look forward to in our future. It's okay that we can't do one of them right after the wedding. I still get to marry my favourite person and really what more can I ask for?

We're now trying to decide if we would like to still have a mini-moon and go away for a few days over Christmas or if we should stay in Toronto. I like the idea of going away because I suspect we'll be a bit familied out after the wedding and will want some alone time, but it will also be the first Christmas I won't be spending with my family and I'm not sure if I might find that a bit upsetting.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a great mini-moon that's a relatively short plane ride away from Toronto?

DIY Bride...Sort of

Like many brides I am planning to include a few DIY projects in my wedding. Here's the thing though: I am not good at DIY projects. I'm not the slightest bit crafty. I can read anyone under the table, but I can't sew a cushion cover or make a pretty scrapbook page to save my life. Creating an envelope liner seems impossibly difficult to me, although I've been informed it's not. When other brides DIY, you would never know the project wasn't done by a professional. With me, everyone will know.

Here's an example of DIY work that just completely blows me away (and makes me feel inadequate!):


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However, I think I'm okay with that. I want the wedding to be a reflection of me and Mr. Knitting and we certainly never do anything the slightest bit crafty normally. So while I'll be putting lots of effort into my DIY projects, I've had to resign myself to the fact that they really will look like I did it myself and that's okay because it's an honest reflection of us. It's even more okay because the more I look at DIY touches that actually look like they are homemade, the more I realize that I really really love this look.

For example:

Table numbers made out of mason jars and tea stained doilies (I love the flowers too, but suspect they aren't DIY):


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Escort card with silhouettes:


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Adorable jar of apple butter:


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Unique way of displaying family wedding photos:


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Cupcakes that I made for my older sister's wedding (yes, I'm obnoxiously proud of them!):


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Have you ever been intimidated by a DIY project?

Being Emotionally Detached...

...from the weather. As much as I love Toronto I have to admit we don't always have the best weather. I have no idea how a Toronto summer bride could stand the stress of having an outdoor wedding here as we have gotten so much rain the past two summers.

However, as a winter bride in Canada you'd think I'd be all set to have a gorgeous super snowy wedding.

For example:


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Unfortunately, that's not something I can count on. Last winter we had something like two snow falls and I'm pretty sure each had completely melted by the next day. It's much more likely I will have zero snow and lots of rain. It doesn't usually rain too much in the winter, but since I scheduled my wedding then I'm sure it will be nonstop rain all of December.

However, instead of spending any time worrying about what the weather will be like I've decided to be emotionally detached from the weather. I'm preparing myself by assuming and planning for the worst. This includes grey skies, rain, and cold, but not cold enough to snow. I already know that lovely outdoor photos of us frolicking in snow aren't going to happen, and not just because Mr. Knitting isn't much of a frolicker!

To be honest, this is complete neccesity for me because I'm a major worrier. I would probably spend the two weeks leading up to my wedding glued to the weather forecast and probably in tears every time it took a turn for the worse. Not worth it. I'm just going to plan for the worst and I'm quite excited to take lots of pictures involving my beloved (that's right, beloved) Wellies and umbrellas.


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How has weather affected your wedding plans?

Mr. Knitting's Ring

I have a little problem. While I love rings and am so excited to wear my beautiful engagement/wedding ring for the rest of my life, Mr. Knitting has huge knuckles and is convinced he can’t wear a ring. At first I was a bit sad at the idea of him not wearing a wedding ring because I thought others might think that he's not committed to our marriage. However, I got over my tiny bit of sadness when I remembered my father doesn’t wear a wedding ring and he and my mother have an incredibly happy marriage. I realized not wearing a wedding ring doesn’t signal any less of a commitment to me, and what do I care about what others think about my marriage?

However, I would like him to have something he could wear in place of wedding ring. I’m currently considering a wedding watch as a good option. I thought about wedding cuff links or a wedding tie clip, as I like the idea of jewelry, but I’m thinking he would prefer something that can be worn on a day to day basis. Also, in the 6 years that I’ve known Mr. Knitting he has never once worn cuff links or a tie clip so I’m guessing those aren’t items he’ll be wearing too often in the future.

A watch seems like a pretty good idea to me. He hasn’t owned a watch in a few years and would definitely love a new fancypants watch. It’s also something I could have engraved, which appeals to sentimental little me!

Hilariously, when I asked him to have a look at watches he likes, it turns out he's a bit of a princess. Here's what he came up with:

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It's a $7000 watch. Hahaha I don't think so. I guess we don't need to feed anyone at the wedding...(After he read this Mr. Knitting insisted I let all of you know that he didn't really want a $7000 watch [with more diamonds than my ring], he just thought it was nice).

What do you think? Any other good suggestions? Have any of you considered an alternative to a wedding ring? Is there such thing as a nice adjustable wedding ring? I’d love to hear your ideas.

To Kerchief or Not to Kerchief...

My grandparents on my mother's side are Ukrainian immigrants and my parents had a very traditional Ukrainian wedding. I identify more with being Canadian than with being half Ukrainian, but I'd still like to include a few Ukrainian wedding traditions in our wedding. However, the one I like the most is one that I actually have quite a few reservations about.

Note: This is my summary of the tradition based on what my mom has vaguely told me. I would appreciate any further details (like its name) or corrections to my version of it, as I'm having trouble finding any more info on it.

Near the end of a Ukrainian wedding reception the bride's veil is removed and a kerchief is put on by her mother and godmother. The idea is that you're no longer a bride, but a wife. I like this tradition and I love looking at the pictures of it from my parent's wedding.

Here's my grandmother putting on Mama Knitting's kerchief:

Mama Knitting dancing with her dad:

Mama Knitting throwing her bouquet. I love her expression in this one:

All personal photos

However, my issue with this tradition is that for me it says, "Okay now you're a wife, get busy with house work because that's what women do." This bothers me a lot because despite the fact that I like baking, pearls, and looking like a 1950s housewife, I'm not interested in promoting or conforming to traditional gender roles.

So that's my issue. My current thinking is that I'll still go ahead and do it. I think the tradition can be whatever I make of it, which for me will be a connection to my parents' and grandparents' weddings and a simple acknowledgement that I'm now a wife, with no implication that this means I will now sit at home and bake because I'm a woman.

To be clear I have no issue with women that are housewives. I just take issue with the idea that a woman would be a housewife becuase she's a woman, instead of because that's the best choice for herself and her family.

Have any of you struggled with whether or not a family tradition is appropriate any longer?

Favourite Things: Polka Dots

I love polka dots. Basically if something has polka dots on it, it's a good bet that I'm going to love it. It might be entirely forgettable without polka dots, but with them it's suddenly the most exciting thing ever.

Me prancing (that's right, prancing) around Europe in Polka dots:

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For me, polka dots just seem so sweet and elegant. They can be really mod looking as well, but I prefer them to look a bit more delicate. Anyway, in case there are a few more polka dot fans out there, here's a few images I love.

The always lovely Dita:

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I also usually love pretty much anything Carla Bruni Sarkozy wears:

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A vintage dress from Cabaret, an amazing Toronto store:

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A few dresses I found in Paris and think that I should own, even of they don't look all that different from ones I already own:

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It usually rains a lot in Toronto in the summer and I may just need to replace the semi-broken umbrella I've been using for the past year:

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I think I need to host a tea party just so I can use these as invites:

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This one is a good example of how polka dots can transform something sort of forgettable into something adorable. I can't say I normally look at any ironing boards and think, "Oh how cute!":

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I love this bathing suit. It's perfectly vinatgey (yes it's a word):

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Okay so the mannequin this is on is a bit creepy, but the mask is pretty great:

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Diaper case I will need to own when I'm a yummy mummy:

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Some bridal polka dots. I love how subtle these are:

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Despite the fact that I'm clearly a bit obsessed with polka dots I don't find them especially Christmasy, so I doubt I'll be using them very much in our wedding. However, they will be present in a very subtle way. Just before I decided on my wedding dress I noticed that the under layer is actually a very subtle polka dot fabric, similar to the wedding dress I posted above. That's when I knew it was undoubtedly the dress for me.

Are there any other polka dot fans out there?