Note: This is my summary of the tradition based on what my mom has vaguely told me. I would appreciate any further details (like its name) or corrections to my version of it, as I'm having trouble finding any more info on it.
Near the end of a Ukrainian wedding reception the bride's veil is removed and a kerchief is put on by her mother and godmother. The idea is that you're no longer a bride, but a wife. I like this tradition and I love looking at the pictures of it from my parent's wedding.
Here's my grandmother putting on Mama Knitting's kerchief:
Mama Knitting dancing with her dad:
Mama Knitting throwing her bouquet. I love her expression in this one:
All personal photos
However, my issue with this tradition is that for me it says, "Okay now you're a wife, get busy with house work because that's what women do." This bothers me a lot because despite the fact that I like baking, pearls, and looking like a 1950s housewife, I'm not interested in promoting or conforming to traditional gender roles.
So that's my issue. My current thinking is that I'll still go ahead and do it. I think the tradition can be whatever I make of it, which for me will be a connection to my parents' and grandparents' weddings and a simple acknowledgement that I'm now a wife, with no implication that this means I will now sit at home and bake because I'm a woman.
To be clear I have no issue with women that are housewives. I just take issue with the idea that a woman would be a housewife becuase she's a woman, instead of because that's the best choice for herself and her family.
Have any of you struggled with whether or not a family tradition is appropriate any longer?
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