My wedding is in just over a month and I currently have really mixed feelings about it. My number one feeling is that I'm so excited to be marrying my favourite person and to be able to get to go around making references to "my husband". However, that's kind of boring to talk about since I'm sure you all feel the same way too, so I'm moving on to my other feelings.
My next feeling is that I'd like it to be my wedding day already. I've been planning this wedding for over a year and I'm looking forward to just getting to enjoy the day. I'm actually a bit surprised that I got to this point because I've had such a great time planning. We've definitely had some stresses like being told no one will have fun at our wedding because it's during Advent and no one is allowed to have fun during Advent (yeah, we'd never hear that before either), but overall it's been a fun process. Now I'm ready for it to be the week before our wedding so I can just enjoy all the fun of that final week and, obviously, the actual wedding day already.
On the other hand, I'm freaking out (in a very minor way) that I only have one month left. When did that happen? I'm not behind in terms of a schedule or anything, but it just feels like I've run out of time. I need more time! Or I need to start getting more things done...
[note: after writing this paragraph I ran and redid my wall calendar so I can make a huge schedule on my wall of all the things I need to get done between then and now. Yay me feeling productive and organized!]
Similarly, I appear to have developed wedding stage fright and would prefer if I had a bit more time to get over it. I'm pretty surprised by this since I spent my high school years performing and always loved having an audience. While I am pretty quiet, I'm also pretty confident and am not exactly a hide in the corner kind of person (Haha that makes me sound so obnoxious! I blame my parents). I'm not sure what I'm so worried about. I'm pretty sure everyone there is going to be wishing us well and doing everything they can to ensure that everything is perfect. This may be just a momentary reaction to finding out that there are going to be more strangers at my wedding than I had hoped. I'm using this opportunity to practice my "letting go" skills. Anyway, I'm hoping the stage fright leaves soon because it's not so fun.
So there you have it. A whole bunch of mixed feelings. Overall though I'm excited if only because I refuse to freak out and stress big time about the wedding out of principle. Weddings should be fun. I realize this is a pretty naive statment because a lot of times they aren't all that fun, or they include a lot of stressful and/or hurtful moments. We've actually had quite a few moments and conversations that could be deemed really stressful, but so far I've managed to see them all as funny (could be all that confidence again!). Despite my stage fright and one month away worries, I'm overall determined to be excited and happy and looking forward to the month ahead.
Did you have mixed feelings about your wedding?
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