Sob!

One of my biggest concerns for our wedding is how I'm going to get through the day without looking like this:


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I'm not a big crier in real life. I definitely cry on occasion, especially during award acceptance speeches (yes I'm weird) and while reading books like The Time Traveller's Wife (Mr. Knitting got annoyed at me for reading that in bed at 3am while sobbing profusely!). Despite these instances, crying is hardly a daily occurrence for me.

However, when it comes to weddings I'm a bit of a sobber. I can't help it. When I see a bride walk down the aisle my eyes immediately start tearing up. While this is kind of sweet when it's my sister walking down the aisle, it's slightly more awkward when it's someone I barely know (yes, I'm speaking from experience).

Much more difficult will be getting through my own wedding without sobbing. Even just walking down the aisle without tears streaming down my face seems pretty much impossible. I'm kind of hoping that I really only get this emotional about other people's weddings, but I suspect that's not the case. I think it will probably be worse at my own because I'll be so touched that all these people have come to support Mr. Knitting and myself.

If it was just a tear or two running down my face, no problem, but it's more likely that I will turn into an incoherent sobbing mess. I'm particularly concerned for when I plan to speak at the reception because I spent a pretty big part of my toast at my sister's wedding in tears. It turns out I can't talk about my dead grandparents without bawling. The tricky thing is that I often have no idea what will make me cry. I know now from experience that I cry when a bride walks down the aisle and if I mention my grandparents, but I suspect on my wedding day I'm going to learn about a whole bunch of other things that make me cry.

Because of this I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to get through our ceremony and the toasts without balling like a baby. However, most of the strategies I can think of for avoiding crying involve somehow blocking myself off emotionally and I don't want to do that. I want to feel everything as it happens. Yes, walking down the aisle will probably make me cry, but that's because I'll probably feel so special, so loved, and so lucky to be marrying Mr. Knitting and I do not want to block myself off from feeling those things. I don't want to make myself feel numb. I think my strategies may have to be things like biting my cheek, having a lot of tissues available, and wearing a lot of waterproof eye makeup. I may need to also start practicing my attractive crying face so I don't end up with photos of me looking like this:


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How do you plan on dealing with crying at your wedding? Are you worried about turning into a big sobbing mess?